Fr. Bjorn Lundberg recommends turning to advice from a spiritual director when we aren’t sure how to discern when God is talking to us in prayer.
Transcript:
Host: We go now to Anonymous, in your neck of the woods, Father, in Virginia, listening on 1160 AM. Anonymous, you are on with Fr. Bjorn Lundberg.
Caller: Hello, Father. Thank you for taking my call.
Fr. Bjorn: Absolutely, what’s your question?
Caller: So first I wanted to start off by thanking you for your vocations talk at the beginning. I’m currently discerning religious life as well, and I was stuck in the wanting to know for absolute—with absolute positive assurance that this is where I’m supposed to be. I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s not completely sure.
Fr. Bjorn: Join the club, right, you’re welcome.
Caller: My question is, it’s not having trouble trusting God; what I’m having trouble with is, discerning when God is speaking and when it’s just myself that’s speaking, and I was wondering if you had anything to say about that.
Fr. Bjorn: Do you have a spiritual director at all?
Caller: No.
Fr. Bjorn: Okay. I would recommend that, you know, if you’re discerning religious life, or just the interior life, it’s good to have a guide. I mean, there’s a kind of mean…not mean, a kind of harsh way of saying “The person who has himself as a director is a fool.” And I don’t mean that in any way against you, or as an insult. It’s just saying that we—you know, whether you want to grow—if someone hires a financial planner, or personal trainer, or wants to learn how to cook, or play the piano, they go to someone who has experience.
And St. Francis de Sales says, when we look for a spiritual director, we should look for someone—you know—he was talking about a priest, at least, he was saying someone who’s older, who’s been around the block and has experience too; very prudent and makes good judgement, and doesn’t make, you know, poor decisions, just rationally; thirdly, knows the faith very well. Because those—experience, prudence, and knowledge of the faith—are what help steer a person.
And a spiritual guide isn’t meant to replace your free will, but to kind of accompany you and help discern what is coming from you or not. Because from these early stages of discernment, or at other points, we can have tons of good options, and it seems like all these things are available to us and we’re not sure they’re all attractive, so we’re no longer choosing between good and evil, we’re choosing between good and better. And then trying to figure out what that is, it’s helpful to have a spiritual guide or spiritual director who can say, “When I pray, it seems like God is saying this.”
Because to a certain extent, what you’re doing is—if you get on a boat, you get your sea legs; you’re getting your sea legs in the spiritual life and starting to discern, you know, “What is the voice of God, what is coming from me,” you know, “what’s coming from outside factors?” Ultimately, when God leads us to something, it’s gonna lead you to greater peace and increase in joy and interior freedom, even though you can be in a very difficult situation that’s painful, but when you’re doing God’s will, you will have a peace. Not saying we won’t suffer, but we’ll have a surrender and a serenity knowing that we’re doing what God wants.
So I would recommend trying to look for, maybe pray for a spiritual director, and then you can be able—maybe once a month, get together with that person and talk to them about what’s going on in your prayer life.
Host: How’s—does that work for you, Anonymous?
Caller: Yeah, that sounds like good advice. I’ll have to look around, then.
Fr. Bjorn: Yeah, that would be good.
Host: Is there a practical—like any practical way—like, is there a list of spiritual directors—like, how does, practically, one do that? How could Anonymous do that, Father?
Fr. Bjorn: Right, number one, I don’t know if you’re involved in a parish, or if there’s a priest, or there’s a religious person in the parish—meaning, like, a consecrated person—who’s available who you could talk to; also, you want to find out the priests in the area who you could consider talking to, you might go to a priest and say, “I’m looking for a spiritual director, do you recommend anybody?” And they could give you some options.