Question:
Answer:
First, may God bless you and your husband abundantly for loving your oldest daughter and her friend authentically, while also giving a faithful witness to your younger children, particularly your youngest (John 10:10)!
As you have done thus far, I think letting your eldest child visit—but having her and her friend sleep in separate beds and in separate rooms—is a legitimate both/and in loving them authentically, while also giving your younger children, particularly your youngest son, a faithful witness.
I say this because you and your husband have maintained good communication with your eldest daughter, including sharing the truth in love to her and her friend and requiring them to live chastely while visiting your home. In addition, at the same time, you have faithfully witnessed to your other children that two women are called to be true friends—and thus relate to each other as loving sisters and not “romantic partners.”
In addition, as your youngest grows up and asks more questions, you can consistently remind him of the faithful approach you and your husband have taken with all of your children, including witnessing to him as the youngest.
You and your husband are a truly loving witness to many other Catholic parents, who all too often compromise their morals in a misguided attempt to avoid alienating their children while not trusting God in key ways.
Also, I encourage you to contact the Catholic apostolate Courage (couragerc.org), which faithfully supports those who experience same-sex attraction (SSA), and thus could serve your eldest daughter and her friend.
In addition, Encourage is Courage’s related family support group (couragerc.org/for-families).
Further, Courage has produced a wonderful documentary entitled Desire of the Everlasting Hills. It’s poignantly raw at some points, so I’d advise not watching it with your younger children. But it is edifying.
You can view it online for free (everlastinghills.org).