“What did you just say? You come here right this second! Now, march yourself off to the bathroom, take that bar of soap, and wash your mouth out until it’s good and clean. And don’t let me ever hear words like that coming out of your mouth again!”
So little Ralphie—in modern classic holiday movie “A Christmas Story”—is sent off to contemplate the mysteries of life over a mouthful of Ivory. Meanwhile, we sit downstairs wondering where in the world he could have managed to pick up words like that. And, just as in the movie, the culprit is often staring back at us grownups from the mirror. The same words that shock us coming from children seem to flow with hardly a second thought from our own lips. It may be time for us to get some soap of our own.
Bad language, or swearing, can be divided into three categories. First, there is profanity—language that serves to debase or defile the sacred. Using God’s name in vain, damning people and things to hell, reviling heaven, and b.aspheming fall into this category. While frequently abused, this is also the easiest category to address. The Second Commandment—”Thou shalt not use the name of the Lord thy God in vain”—prohibits such misuse.
As the Catechism of the Catholic Church explains, “The second commandment forbids the abuse of God’s name, i.e. every improper use of the names of God, Jesus Christ, but also of the Virgin Mary and all the saints” (CCC 2146). And again, ” Blasphemy is directly opposed to the Second Commandment. . . . The prohibition of blasphemy extends to language against Christ’s Church, the saints, and sacred things. . . . [B.asphemy] is in itself a grave sin” (CCC 2148). “Do not accustom your mouth to oaths, and do not habitually utter the name of the Holy One,” warns the book of Sirach. “The man who always swears and utters the name will not be cleansed from sin” (23:9–10).
Second, there is vulgarity—morally crude words that typically refer to the excretory functions of the body. In common usage, they are rarely spoken for their underlying meaning. When was the last time you walked down the street and heard somebody yell, “Excrement!”? Instead, they are used as derogatory expletives to insult and show contempt or merely as conversational filler. As insults, they are forbidden by Christ’s commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). As verbal filler they are divorced from their meaning and fail to comport with a Christian standard of language.
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer every one” (Col. 4:6).
“Hear and understand: Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man. . . . Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach, and so passes on? But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a man” (Matt. 15:10–11, 17–18).
“But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be liable to the hell of fire” (Matt. 5:22).
The third and final category encompasses obscenity—those words that are designed to incite lust or depravity and that refer to the sexual organs or the act of sex itself. All of these words are derogatory, treating sex solely as a means of pleasure and reducing the human person to a mere object. Like the excretory words, most of them are used as insults or utterances devoid of any relation to the meaning of the word.
“With [the tongue] we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brethren, this ought not to be so” (Jas. 3:9–10).
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Cor. 6:19–20).
“But now put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and foul talk from your mouth” (Col. 3:8).
Now that we have defined the three categories, let’s consider some of the most common reasons people give for using bad language.
I don’t mean anything bad.
Speech is our way of communicating as social beings, and words have meanings. When you casually say, “Oh my God,” you’re using the divine name whether or not you mean anything by it. When you curse using words from the sexual category, you denigrate the most intimate of unions, the act whereby two become one and God brings new life into the world.
Simply because there is no harm in your heart doesn’t make this action right. Society would not long tolerate a person constantly uttering racial epithets, regardless of the intention behind the words. Neither should we tolerate bad language. “Do not accustom your mouth to lewd vulgarity, for it involves sinful speech” (Sir. 23:13).
It’s just a habit.
We certainly are creatures of habit. For some these include smoking, drug abuse, lying, and a host of other ills. The critical distinction is that cursing is a bad habit, one that we should strive to overcome. Christ calls us to be perfect as he is perfect. Can you picture yourself using bad language in front of Jesus, “the Lord of all speech” (CCC 2152)? Or, for that matter, even in front of your parents or your children? “Fornication and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is fitting among saints. Let there be no filthiness, nor silly talk, nor levity, which are not fitting; but instead let there be thanksgiving” (Eph. 5:3–4).
It’s cool—it makes me popular.
Popularity can be a good thing, but only if it is achieved through good and noble deeds. As Christians, our goal is to follow Jesus, not to seek popularity. “If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you” (John 15:19). Placing popularity before Christ’s commands is a serious wrong. Rather, we are called to “set an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Tim. 4:12).
Oh, come on, it doesn’t hurt anybody.
On the contrary, it hurts many people. First of all, when you use bad language you hurt yourself. “A man accustomed to use insulting words will never become disciplined all his days” (Sir. 23:15). Abusing the sacred is directly sinful. Use of foul words in the excretory and sexual categories distorts our view of creation and fills our mind with thoughts that keep us from God. “The tongue is an unrighteous world among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the cycle of nature, and set on fire by hell” (Jas. 3:6).
A soul is like an empty glass and bad language like pebbles. The purpose of a glass is to hold water. But as we fill our glass with pebbles, there is less and less room for Jesus, the water of salvation. “If any one thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this man’s religion is vain” (Jas. 1:26).
You also hurt those around you by leading them to use bad language. This is exactly how little Ralphie got in trouble. He heard bad language repeated over and over until he began to feel that it was normal and used it himself. Leading others into sin through example is a grievous wrong. (CCC 2284). “Temptations to sin are sure to come; but woe to him by whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung round his neck and he were cast into the sea, than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin” (Luke 17:1–2).
Christ’s message to us is clear. In order to become perfect, we must give ourselves completely to him. Every thought and word should be spent in his service, and controlling our tongues is an integral part of this struggle. “For we all make many mistakes, and if any one makes no mistakes in what he says he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body also” (Jas. 3:2).
Now, it may not be easy to overcome the use of bad language, particularly if it has become habitual. Even the Bible acknowledges how easy it is to use bad words unintentionally: “A person may make a slip without intending it. Who has never sinned with his tongue?” (Sir. 19:16). So here are a few tips to help you gain control over your speech:
1. Pay attention to what you say and the manner in which you say it. “He who keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble” (Prov. 21:23). The old rule of counting to ten before you speak in anger can come in handy. “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips” (Ps. 141:3).
2. Do not allow bad language in your thoughts, for it is from the mind that words originate. The only way to kill a weed is by getting at the root, and the only way to control the mouth is by first controlling the brain.
3. Ask those around you to refrain from using bad language. By doing this you keep these words out of your mind and help others to break their evil habits.
4. Avoid movies, television shows, and books that use excessive language. Frequent exposure is the easiest way to fall into the habit of using bad language.
Most of all, however, pray about it, for without God’s help we can do nothing. May we every day join in praying that each act, word, and deed of our lives be done in the service of the Lord: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer” (Ps. 19:14).