We send our sincere condolences to Robert Tilton, televangelist and self-promoter extraordinaire, whose operation was the subject of an expose on “Prime Time Live” in 1991 and whose operation is now nearly out of business. All we can do to express our sorrow is to return to Tilton the indecipherable words he so frequently gave his gullible viewers: “La ba la ba su!”
Perhaps you can tell from the title that The Cheerful Cherub isn’t exactly an apologetics journal, but it’s the kind of journal many budding apologists should have. After all, most such folks have families and could use some bucking up–living a Catholic family life is tough today–and this delightful publication can help. Our favorite parts are the letters from readers who discuss their everyday lives as Catholic parents; many of them are homeschoolers and have young children, and even through their occasional disappointments they offer hope. The Cheerful Cherub is published bimonthly by David and Kathleen Bell. A subscription is $12 and can be obtained by writing to P.O. Box 262302, San Diego, CA 92196.
If you take a side trip into rural Japan, make sure you visit the village of Shingo. The sign welcoming visitors announces that this is the “Hometown of Christ.” More than that, he lies buried here–next to his brother. An English sign beside the graves says that “Christ came to Japan at the age of twenty-one, where he studied theology.”
According to a scroll supposedly uncovered sixty years ago, Christ escaped the cross, made his way across Asia, and lived a quiet life with a Japanese bride. (It was Christ’s brother who was mistakenly crucified in his stead; the brother’s remains were taken to Japan.) Yoshie Nagamine, 83, lives in a farmhouse near the graves. “It’s good that he lived here,” he says. “There are no typhoons, and vegetables are good.”
That’s one way to look at it. Another way was given by the late Alan Booth, a British expert on Japan, who speculated that the grave designated as Christ’s really belonged to a sixteenth-century missionary who died while trying to escape Imperial persecution.
Denver wasn’t the only city that sported anti-Pope billboards prior to World Youth Day. In Los Angeles ten large billboards featured a smiling, waving John Paul II standing next to this message: “The Bible says . . . ‘The number of the beast is the number of a man’ (Rev. 13:18). Free Book. 1-800-655-FACT.” As of this writing, that number is still operative. A disembodied voice answers, promises to send you the information you saw advertised, and asks you to leave your name and address.
It had to happen, the union of a dispensationalist end-times scenario with a New Age I-believe-in-extraterrestrials motif. World Services, a group headquartered in Zurich, publishes large posters of supposed future events. One features a resurrected saint (meaning a reborn Evangelical) instructing formerly unbelieving kings in the truths of the Christian faith. It turns out that in the early 1990s earth was invaded by beings from outer space–and just in time, since we were about to destroy it ourselves.
But here we are, in the twenty-second century, and everything is hunky-dory because “all weapons of war have now been destroyed and are outlawed forever!” You see, “the invaders possess superhuman powers and are able to fly, walk through solid walls, and transport themselves from one place to another with the speed of thought.” (Match that, Clark Kent!) “They are also able to read and understand the very thoughts of the natural men remaining on earth, which helps them as they patrol and police, keeping order and peace.” This is the millennium, folks.
Ah, but back to the illustration. “The white-haired gentleman that we see teaching here actually died almost 200 years ago, back in the last part of the twentieth century, at the age of 70. But he is now alive and in fact was part of the supernatural force that invaded the earth, for he arose from the grave [at the rapture] and now has a new kind of super resurrection body! His pretty wife and faithful scribe, whose back is to us, is busy taking notes on his talk as he teaches the kings of the world–the survivors of the invasion–about God.”
The wife, who wears a sheetlike garment that has slipped from her shoulders, revealing a shapely back, is probably all of 20. Apparently we are to conclude that the millennium will feature plenty of May-December marriages.
Speaking of the end times, here is an acknowledgment that massive confusion reigns among Protestant prognosticators–but not enough to stop still another prognosticator from saying that he, at least, has figured it all out. These are the opening paragraphs of a subscription solicitation letter written by Mark Hawes of Voice of Elijah, Inc.:
“As a Christian I’m sure you’re aware of just how many differing views there are regarding the fulfillment of prophecy concerning these Last Days. For example, in his book, The Last Days Handbook, Robert Lightner, Th.D. points out that there are no less than five different views on the rapture, five opposing thoughts about the Second Coming, three diverse opinions on the millennium, and two totally opposite methods of interpreting the Bible. Sounds to me like there’s a whole lot of guessing going on.
“Common sense tells you that all these conflicting views can’t be true. That being the case, it’s no wonder so many Christians have adopted a ‘wait and see’ attitude rather than concern themselves with any of this. But what if I told you it is now known the apostles taught the early Church a clear and concise message regarding End Time events and the appearance of the Antichrist? And the apostles’ understanding of these things has been preserved in the writings of Chruch leaders of this period? Especially in the writings of two men named Irenaeus and Hippolytus?”
That’s chutzpah for you. The first paragraph demonstrates private interpretation gone bananas, and the second paragraph presents a new private interpretation. The curious twist is the appeal to the writings of Irenaeus and Hippolytus, the one a Catholic bishop, the other the first anti-pope (but later a loyalist, a martyr, and a saint).
Another Protestant minister joins biblical Christianity–which is to say the Catholic Church. Jack Keene, of Jackson, Mississippi, has sent out a one-page testimony explaining “why an Evangelical minister would convert to Catholicism.” He says, “Several years ago I began a serious study of the early Church. Much to my surprise I discovered that the earliest Christians were the same in faith and practice as Roman Catholics today. The early Church believed in the Real Presence and baptismal regeneration. The early Church had a structured hierarchy and liturgical worship. This revelation was the first step in my journey. . . . Finally, I came to a startling realization. The moral relativism that is destroying our society is rooted in Protestantism.”
Keene, who says he especially profited from the writings of Newman, Chesterton, and Belloc, can be reached at 334 Lakeshore Dr., Jackson, MS 39213.
Sometimes you get suspicious, like when a magician, seen close up, is unable to perform a particular trick and attributes his inability to the momentary positioning of the stars. You suspect it’s really because you’re too close and might see something being slipped out of a sleeve. So it was when J. Z. Knight, the queen of the New Age channelers, took the witness stand in a divorce trial. She is being sued by her fifth husband, who claims she forced him to take too small a share in their 1989 divorce settlement. Since 1977 Knight has made millions by channeling Ramtha, a 35,000-year-old warrior. Although she has no trouble producing the spirit when being paid $1,000 for a private channeling and tens of thousands for a public channeling, Knight said, according to a report in The New York Times, “that she will not let her spiritual tenant take the witness stand.” Wonder why. Maybe it’s because her former husband has been saying, according to the article, “that Ramtha is a sham and that the channeling sessions that have attracted celebrities such as Shirley MacLaine and Linda Evans are little more than deep-breathing exercises layered with psychic jargon.” La ba la ba su.