You don’t need to wait until Lent to go to confession. Any time of the year is wonderful to receive the forgiveness that Jesus promised us for sins we commit following our baptism.
Is Confession Biblical?
Some people argue that the sacrament of confession isn’t biblical, yet Jesus commands all persons to forgive those who trespass against them personally (Matt. 6:12-15). In marked contrast, beginning on the evening of that first Easter, Jesus gives the power to forgive sins in general—or retain them—to only a relative few: his apostles, their successors, and others whom they designate:
Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.” And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (John 20:21-23).
Jesus didn’t limit this sacramental gift to his visible time on earth. Rather, his ministry of forgiveness continues until the present day through apostolic succession, because Jesus promises that the gates of hell will never prevail against the one Catholic Church he founded (Matt. 16:18-19). So the idea that we can simply repent to Jesus and automatically receive the forgiveness our Lord gained for us on the cross is, actually, not biblical.
Now that It’s Lent, Why Wait?
The season of Lent is a great time to go to confession—especially if you’ve been away for five, ten, fifteen, or even fifty years or more. And if by the very off-chance you get a priest who treats you rudely in the confessional . . . well, let him absolve you of your sins, through the power Jesus has given him, and then tell him—and his diocesan bishop—that he needs an attitude adjustment, not to mention absolution for his own sins, including those he committed against you in the confessional.
I say this because someone close to me had a bad first confession experience as a Catholic child.
“What do you mean, you haven’t done anything wrong?!” the gruff priest told the lad, who couldn’t come up with anything. When I heard the person make this recollection many years later, I tried to make light of the matter, saying, “Well, when you go into the confessional, you know you’re supposed to have at least something to confess.”
But seriously, don’t let a bad experience in the confessional, or the failure of a Catholic role model, or the sins of a priest, bishop, and/or pope keep you from receiving Christ’s absolution for your sins. You’re going to confession to encounter our merciful Lord Jesus, who sustains the mission of his Church amid the failure of her human leaders:
Only God forgives sins. Since he is the Son of God, Jesus says of himself, “The Son of man has authority on earth to forgive sins” and exercises this divine power: “Your sins are forgiven.” Further, by virtue of his divine authority he gives this power to men to exercise in his name (CCC 1441).
If you need reassurance about God’s desire to reconcile with you, remember those wonderful parables you likely learned as a kid—e.g., the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) and the Good Shepherd (vv. 1-7).
The 5 Steps of Going to Confession
1. Examination of conscience. You need to recognize your sins to confess them well. An examination of conscience—rooted in the Ten Commandments and with an awareness of the seven deadly sins (CCC 1866)—will guide you, especially if you’ve been away from the sacrament a good while. See our examinations here—one each for adults, teens, and younger children, as well as one in Spanish.
In addition, we need to distinguish between mortal (i.e., grave or deadly) sins and venial or lesser sins (see 1 John 5:16-17, James 5:19-20). If we commit a mortal sin, we need to go to confession before we receive Holy Communion again. There are three components of a mortal sin: 1) grave matter, 2) full knowledge, and 3) complete consent (CCC 1157-1159). Some grave sins have become legally protected over the years, including abortion, attempting to marry while still married to another person, and the redefinition of marriage. So don’t be misled. For more, see Joe Heschmeyer’s article, “Mortal Sin: The Basics,” as well our synopsis on grave matter.
2. Contrition. You need to repent for your sins to have true sorrow for having offended God and others by your transgressions. The Church distinguishes between perfect contrition, which “arises from a love by which God is loved above all else,” and imperfect contrition, which is born of lesser reasons, including “the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner” (CCC 1452-1453). To be clear, imperfect contrition in the confessional is sufficient for the absolution of all of our sins.
3. Commit to not sinning again. Implied in true contrition, lest there be any doubt, is the resolution not to sin again, particularly regarding mortal sins, given their deadly nature. This is known as having a firm purpose of amendment (CCC 1451, 1490-1491). After you confess your sins, you say an act of contrition. Click here for a good one to guide you.
A key part of repentance, if at all possible, is repenting to the people you offended, whether before or after your confession. Further, in going forward, you want to avoid the twin grave sins against the virtue of hope: despair and presumption (CCC 2091-2092).
4. Confession of sins. You need to confess your sins to an ordained priest, distinguishing between your venial sins and mortal sins, as the latter need to be confessed in both kind and number. Deliberately withholding a mortal sin will nullify your absolution. As the Catechism provides,
when Christ’s faithful strive to confess all the sins that they can remember, they undoubtedly place all of them before the divine mercy for pardon. But those who fail to do so and knowingly withhold some, place nothing before the divine goodness for remission through the mediation of the priest, “for if the sick person is too ashamed to show his wound to the doctor, the medicine cannot heal what it does not know” (1456).
If you haven’t been to confession for a while, it’s good to make an appointment with a priest to accommodate any extra time you may need, though that’s not required. And if you encounter any irate penitents in line after your lengthier confession, smile and say, “Remember what our moms used to say: ‘Offer it up.’” In addition, don’t fret if you fail to recall a particular grave sin.
Going forward, remember the reassuring words of Ven. Bruno Lanteri: “If I should fall even a thousand times a day, a thousand times, with peaceful repentance, I will say immediately, Nunc coepi [Now I begin, or Begin again].”
5. Penance. You need to do the assigned penance, whether prayers or other actions, that your priest confessor gives you (see CCC 1459-1460). Yet strive to avoid scrupulosity, which if unmanaged will impact not only you, but also your loved ones.