FFAF: Tales of Annoying Gen Z and DINK’s

Welcome to the Counsel of Trent podcast, a production of Catholic Answers.

What’s wrong with kids these days? It’s the perennial complaint of older generations, and I will continue that time-honored tradition here on the Counsel of Trent Podcast. Welcome, I’m your host, Catholic Answers apologist and speaker, Trent Horn. On Mondays and Wednesdays, we talk apologetics and theology, how to explain and defend the Catholic faith. But on Friday, we talk about whatever I want to talk about. It’s Free For All Friday here on the podcast, and I want to talk about an article that I read and a video I saw dealing with younger generations today, and what can just be really insufferable about them. Now, I’m not saying that this is a blanket indictment of Gen Z or younger generations. We have some really great people among Gen Z. They are a credit to their race, so to speak, a credit to their generation working at Catholic Answers. But every now, and then I come across these articles, and these stories, and I just have to chuckle, and this one really got me.

So, the first one I want to talk about is an article from Business Insider. It was published recently. This is the title of it, A Gen Zer left Texas to find acceptance and peace of mind. “Texas has a lot to fix and resolve before I would even encourage anyone to move or live there.” Now, of course I’m biased. I, and my family, we left California in the height of the pandemic to find freedom. We literally left for freedom. I remember during the pandemic, I once had to dodge helicopters and police officers to go down to enjoy the beach, to put my feet in the sand in the ocean, and enjoy being on the beach. Because Emperor Newsom had closed down everything thinking, “Oh, we’ve got a pandemic. We don’t want people out at the beach or out on trails where they’re actually safe. We want them to congregate in homes.” I always thought that was just such a dopey policy. Instead of letting people congregate outdoors, where they’re actually fairly safe from one another, you confine everybody to their homes. But people end up going to each other’s houses anyways to see one another. A whole big mess, right?

So I remember, I left California, and so I have a little bit of a bias here. I enjoy Texas. Texas isn’t perfect. Nowhere is perfect, but I like the lifestyle here compared to what we had in California. And it wasn’t just the draconian COVID policies. It was the cost of living. It was growing crime, and restlessness, and cities falling into decay. It was just something … It was just not worth it anymore for us. We saw the writing on the wall, and we left, and we haven’t looked back since.

So when I read stories about people who are sick of Texas, and want to move to places like California, or in this case, this young man wants to move to Washington, I say, “Well, it’s a free country. Go where you want. Go what makes you happy.” But I always find the reasons that are given very interesting and illuminating of what goes on in the minds of some of these Gen Z people. So, this is an as-told-to essay. So, I guess the guy kind of transcribed what this 25-year-old guy, Thank you, short for Tyler, I guess. Ty Joerger said why he decided to move to Seattle from Texas. So, he said, “I was a lifelong Texan. I was born in Houston, and I moved away … ” I’m going to paraphrase here, “… all the way to Seattle, Washington. I have a laundry list of reasons as to why I moved away from Texas. A consistent reason among me, and my friends is the political climate, especially with all of us being members of the LGBTQ+ community.” So, Tyler, and his 10 friends … So, he and his boyfriend are moving, and they all hate Texas. We don’t want any part of it.

And it is hard for me. It actually isn’t hard for me. It reminds me of the scene from Willy Wonka and the … Sorry, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Willy Wonka, when he says, “No, stop. Don’t. Come back.” Like, “Okay, well if you’re going to leave, sorry to hear that, that you won’t be here supporting, and demanding things like drag shows that children can go to, obnoxious LGBT Pride parades. If you’re going to be doing that somewhere else, have at it. I would prefer to not have that kind of stuff in my backyard.”

So, his first reason he gives, “I wanted to live in a more tolerant environment. My friends and I share a pretty similar sentiment. We didn’t feel safe in a state that had more and more aggressive legislation targeting us.” And that’s what I always hear from the younger generation, “I’m not safe. I’m not safe.” What are you talking about, “You’re not safe?” These are the same people, by the way, who would probably say that Palestinian … I’m sorry, that gay people, people identify as being LGBTQ+ whatever, they probably say that they’re not safe in Israel because of colonialism or something like that, and that they’re actually safe in Gaza, Palestine, or in other Middle Eastern countries where you actually are not safe if you’re LGBTQ+. One of the things they do to people who identify as gay in Muslim majority countries, they give them the death penalty by simply throwing them off a roof.

Anyway, he goes on to say, “As a gay man, I didn’t feel like I could be myself, and always felt hesitant to bring up my sexuality or the fact that I have a boyfriend. I didn’t come out to my boss until I had a political debate with him, and had to make a point. Toward the end of my time in Texas, I was a little more open about it, but even still, I wasn’t telling people I was queer or parading pride flags.” So, what’s interesting here is that in this essay, he doesn’t say he was worried about his safety. He was never bullied. He doesn’t mention anything like that. He just said that he had a political debate with his boss. Now, the idea among Gen Z, for many of them is, “If somebody disagrees with me, and says that I am wrong, I’m unsafe. This is an unsafe environment.” Okay, sorry to burst your bubble about the way the world works, but you can see where this demand for safety becomes overblown that even in the presence of just disagreeing with you and saying, “I disagree with the way you live your life, I can’t even be around people who have that kind of attitude, I have to go somewhere else.”

He goes on to write, “Honestly, I didn’t even go to any Pride parades in Texas because I was scared, and knew that the state has lax gun laws.” So, this is his second reason for leaving, mass shootings caused anxieties. The gun policies in the state were another significant reason for moving. I grew up witnessing mass shooting after mass shooting. Some of these included Uvalde, Sutherland Springs, and the Allen Outlet Mall. It didn’t help the State continued to pass legislation that weakened gun control, and made it easier for individuals to acquire them.

And so, he goes on. He says, “In May, I was already in the midst of planning my move when the Allen Outlet shooting happened. It caused enough anxiety that I hardly went out in my final months of living in Texas, having the fear of shooting everywhere I went or having to be careful to not honk at the wrong person was just no longer feasible.” So along this sense of, “I don’t feel safe,” I do worry that younger generations have grown up, and they just ingest cable news, which I always find is kind of weird. I always thought young people didn’t really have cable. But I feel like those people who just watch CNN, MSNBC, even if you watch cable news in general, Fox News, you get this distorted view of the world, and think that it’s this incredibly dangerous place when it isn’t, that there are these mass shootings happening everywhere when that’s actually not the case.

And it depends, of course, how you define a mass shooting. But especially the ones that are in the news where dozens of people are shot, these things are very, very rare. You’re far more likely to be killed just driving your car on an intersection within five miles of your home than you are just going somewhere to be a victim of gun violence. But you think that gun violence is something that’s hanging over your head everywhere you go, because news stories and news stations always want to cover it over and over when that’s just not the case. But the other thing I don’t like from an article like this is that mass shootings … He seems to be putting forward that this is a conservative problem. Texas is a conservative state. It’s Second Amendment friendly, and look, you get all these mass shootings because of that. And so, it’s the awfulness … It doesn’t go right out and say it, but it’s basically implied that this Gen Zer, he wants to move. He’s sick of what conservatives have done, and it’s because of them that he has to live in fear of mass shootings, but that’s not the case at all.

I have a graph here from Statista, and great source to collect statistics from. And it highlights the number of mass shootings that took place in the United States between 1982, and October of 2023. And it defines it as anyone where a shooting took place, and there were three or more fatalities. Before 2013, it was four more fatalities. After 2013, it’s three or more fatalities. The state with the number one mass shootings, according to this graph, California with 26. So, your liberal Gen Z LGBT friendly state, it’s actually California that would have the number of mass shootings. Because usually, mass shootings are not just a lone gunman going out, trying to kill as many people as he can. But when you look at the data, and it breaks down when it says, “There’ve been 500 mass shootings,” most of them are, “Gang member pulled out firearm, and began shooting at rival gang at this concert,” or something like that. That’s where most mass shootings take place. It’s not just the deranged psycho who goes out with a high capacity weapon trying to kill as many people as possible. Usually, a lot of mass shootings occur in the context of criminal altercations, crimes, things like that. So, you have a state like California where prosecutors are very soft on crime, you see what happens. 26 is the highest there.

Next number in second place is Texas was 13, Florida with 13, Colorado with eight, and fifth place is the state of Washington. The state of Washington had seven mass shootings. So, not as many as Texas, but still, it’s not like if this is something that gives you anxiety, it’s not that great of a reason to go there. It’s not the presence of the danger that is moving you. It’s the fact that you might have a mistaken sense of the world that’s giving you more fear than you really should have.

Here’s the last one that he gives, “The state’s extreme weather also drove me out. Intensifying weather within the state, and it’s ever breaking cold and hot climate were also factors in my decision. Texas is getting hotter and colder, and its electric grid is just not able to handle that. I don’t want to be dealing with 110 degrees outside, and have to worry if my air conditioning is going to go off or if my pets are going to overheat.” Now, I do appreciate people who move because of weather. I totally understand that.

When we left California, we thought about going back to Phoenix. We had lived there as a family when our oldest son was little, and we just had him. And we were there for about two years. We moved back to California, and one reason there was because of the weather. So, we weren’t ready to go back to Phoenix. It is hotter in Phoenix than when I grew up there. I graduated high school there in 2003. Now, 20 years later, it’s much hotter in Phoenix than it was when I was a kid. It’s definitely much hotter. It’s not worth it to me to put up with unrelenting heat, honestly, starting in … It’s like March through October, November, it’s hot. And then the only great time of the year is December through February. So, I’d rather just get a vacation home there. I don’t want to live there year round just to enjoy what January and February are like.

So, I get that. But at the same time, I feel like there’s a little bit of an undercurrent here in the article that, “Oh, well, Texas has a bad infrastructure, and climate change, and conservatives have done this to themselves, and they’ve made Texas even … They’ve somehow made the weather even terrible,” and he’s going to go to the state of Washington instead. Hey, if you like rain, if you enjoy rain, go to the Pacific Northwest. Washington has a rain forest. I’ve been there a few times. It’s a beautiful place. I don’t like the cold. I don’t like unrelenting rain, so it’s not the place for me. But if he thinks like, “Oh, it’s just going to be this great weather,” they still have their heat waves, and other things like that as well. Back in 2021, they had a heat wave in Washington. They had multiple days of 100 degrees, 108 degrees. That’s not great in a place where many of the buildings actually don’t have air conditioning, because they were built more with the climate of the Pacific Northwest.

So, anyway, I just thought that this was interesting that, especially among Gen Z, when they point out stuff that’s wrong or bad, I feel like a lot of times they’re buying into, once again, a distorted view of reality from the media, from TikTok that makes them think that the world is a more dangerous place than it really is. But especially the part saying, “I couldn’t be safe in Texas.” He didn’t even talk about things like homophobia or anything like that. Just like, he can’t be as LGBT, and everyone just goes along and agrees.

Oh, about violence also, if you’re worried about shootings, good luck living in Seattle. Good luck living there, if they had CHOP. Remember back when the summer of George Floyd? They had the autonomous zone where the hippies took over in Seattle, and it ended up being controlled by roving armed gangs, because the police did nothing about it? I think some people actually got killed there, but no thank you. No, thank you. I appreciate the feeling of safety I have here of people and law enforcement of creating a safe, stable environment for people to raise their kids, and raise their families. I wouldn’t trade that for any kind of nice weather on the left coast, the west coast.

Here’s the next one. You’ve probably seen some videos. I know Matt Walsh, and others have talked about it, about the DINKS, and there’s more of these individuals that you’re finding. You can find them among millennials, but it’s also becoming very popular among Gen. Z. The term has been around for a long time. I remember my parents talking about it. DINKS, D-I-N-K-S, double income, no kids. There’s also DINKWADS, double income, no kids with a dog, and the dog is a kid, a fur baby. Okay, no, they’re not. If you can go out to dinner, and just … If I could just leave my two-year-old at home with a bowl of food, and come back three hours later after my wife and I got to enjoy some time out, that would be amazing. But guess what? You can’t do that with a 2-year-old. You go to prison. At least, you’ll lose custody of your children. That’s abuse, because fur babies are not like kids in any way, shape, or form.

So, DINKS, these are people who are voluntarily choosing to not have children so they can have a particular kind of lifestyle. And when you listen to these videos that are put on TikTok, and put on social media explaining, “What are the benefits of being a DINK?” it is insufferably selfish. It is just absolutely selfish, the lifestyle that … And they might get mad if I say that you’re being selfish. Then they say, “Well, what are you talking about, we’re being selfish? We’re not selfish.” No, the reasons you give are, “I don’t want children, because I can do more things to benefit myself. That is literally the definition of selfishness.” So, here, I’ll play one of the clips for you right now.

We’re DINKS. We go to Trader Joe’s and workout classes on the weekends.

We’re DINKS. We get into snobby hobbies like skiing and golfing.

We’re DINKS. We can go to Florida on a whim.

We’re DINKS. We’re already planning our European vacation next year.

DINKS, we get a full eight hours of sleep, and sometimes more.

We’re DINKS. We get desserts and appetizers at restaurants.

We’re DINKS. We can play with other kids, and give them back.

We’re DINKS. We still do it three times a week.

We’re DINKS. We spend our discretionary income on $8 lattes.

So, notice what they’re saying here. Now, I’ve known people, I’ve known couples who, because of things like infertility, were unable to have children. So, they were involuntary DINKS, double income, no kids, and they were unable to have children. They didn’t end up adopting children, but they chose to. And so, you have a different lifestyle because of that. That’s absolutely true. You have more discretionary income, you have more free time. You have more energy. And they felt that God had given them the cross of infertility to allow them to do things like benefit the community, volunteer, to go on mission trips, to do things to serve others, because they don’t have to spend all of their time helping their kids in their home. That’s a beautiful thing. That’s a beautiful thing. And even for someone to voluntarily choose to not have children, because they want to do things to better serve society, to better serve the world, and children might be a detriment.

Now, I’m not recommending that, of course. Marriage is something that’s supposed to be open to life. The primary ends of marriage are procreation, and raising of offspring, and then of course the unity of the spouses. But I am just saying it would be far more understandable if someone chose to become a DINK, because they wanted to go on mission trips, they wanted to spend their entire life helping the community, helping others. But that’s not what these people are doing. Their life has … It’s an empty, sad thing of consumption. We get to have appetizers and desserts. We get to go to Europe. We get to go to Disneyland. We get to go, and do all of these things. And if your life is revolved around consumption, you’re going to be miserable, whether you don’t have kids or whether you do have kids. If your life is just filled with just consumption of whether it’s objects or experiences, it’s going to be just an empty kind of a life that you live.

And I think one thing that I have noticed, frankly, is that DINKS, double income, no kids, a lot of times they sense that emptiness in their lives about not having children, about not raising the next generation. They have this feeling they want to make the world a better place. They want to help the next generation. So, they’ll do things like lobby for school boards, lobby for things that they think are good or bad for kids. The COVID pandemic, they’re the ones who are arguing that we got to keep kids home to keep them safe, but they don’t know the first thing about what kids need, because they don’t have kids. And yet, they have this desire to want to do something. They want to parent everybody else’s kids through public policy as a proxy, because they don’t have their own children, and they’re not putting their own risk involved in that.

Going back to the example from the other article I gave you, the Gen Zer who leaves Texas, Ty. It’s so interesting. He says, “Texas is not a safe place for me. Legislation, I was under attack.” Let’s see what it said here. “We didn’t feel safe in a state that had more, and more aggressive legislation targeting us.” Like what? What is targeting you as an adult with a live-in boyfriend, LGBTQ+? What legislation’s targeting you? Saying that you can’t bring children to drag shows, saying … A lot of this is dealing with kids, like banning hormone therapy, banning giving hormone therapy to minors. You are a 20-year-old man, and you’re mad? You live in a state, you say it’s targeting you because it’s saying, “People should not be allowed to push dangerous and destructive lifestyles on children who can’t fully consent to the lifelong consequences of these things, like hormone therapy, like other issues like this?” It boggles the mind for sure.

But yeah, with those who are DINKS, it is sad. Because you’re going to go through life. You’re going to be consuming all these things, living it up when you’re younger. But then, I feel like what often happens is these individuals, you’ll be 50, 60, 70 … And my wife worked in the hospital. She was a nurse. She worked in telemetry, and she said that the saddest people were those who were in the hospital, and did not have family to be able to come and visit them. They were easily the saddest people that she served in the hospital, and that’s true. You could be fill out your retirement fund. You might have all the money in the world, and let’s say, of course, things can happen where you could lose your money. Things can happen to you, just not even having a loved one to care for. You always having to rely on people that you pay for to care, and tend for you. It’s going to be a sad experience.

I remember once growing up, there was a Catholic friend of mine, he had 12 kids. And he said, “Trent, you know why I had 12 kids?” And I was like, “Why did you have 12 kids?”

“Perfect retirement plan. Every month, I got a new kid to go and live with. I’ll be set.” Now, he was joking, hopefully. But I mean, obviously there’s a truth that when you have children, and you sacrifice and invest in them, the natural order of justice is that they care for you in your old age. That’s why Jesus got so peeved when the Pharisees allowed people to shirk their responsibility to their parents in old age by donating money to the temple instead of giving them money to help their aging parents. That really made Jesus mad, the idea that you don’t care for your family members, especially your aging parents. Honor your father, and mother, not just as a little kid to obey their instructions, but to care for them in their old age just as they cared for you in your young age.

But if you choose to not have … It’s one thing … Once again, it’s tragic, if you want children, and you have infertility. And being in the situation where you don’t have children, family care for you, that would be more of a cross to bear. That is a tragic thing. But of course, it’s even more tragic to purposely inflict that upon yourself. Just as it’s tragic, for example, to suffer a miscarriage, and to have the loss of your prenatal child, it’s even more tragic to inflict that loss upon yourself in something like abortion. So, sad, sad things. Hopefully, those of you listening, if you’re tempted to these kinds of lifestyles, turn back. Turn back before it’s too late. So, a little bit more of a ranty episode, but I hope you can appreciate that. But thank you guys so much for listening, and I hope you have a very blessed weekend.

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